Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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