I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
