Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Who died my cat blue again?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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