Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Randomize
