oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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