Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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