By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
