So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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