I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
