Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just threw up on my dentist
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Who died my cat blue again?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
