all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
