I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
