turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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