party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I love you. Go after that dick
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
