I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
