So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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