Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
4 words: hood of his car
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
