no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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