Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
