Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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