I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize