I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
