at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
