last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
