I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize