I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
