im about as happy as oj after his trial
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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