I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
