Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
