He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
