so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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