Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
