Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i think my mom watched the whole time
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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