K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
In America we eat man semen.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
