Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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