you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Randomize
