i permit you to call me
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
