Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
