your room smells of hookers.
And success
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
