The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize