You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
