normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
