U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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