if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
there is glitter all over my balls
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
