It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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