OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
