Got a toothbrush?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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