I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
