my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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