just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
