love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Its about making memories worth repressing
someone owes me an orgasm
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
