You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize