they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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