from now on my penis is your penis
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
