Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
