he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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