why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
