God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
