i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
