I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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