Welp...herpes.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
