I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
either way he was missing a nipple.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
