we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
