So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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