No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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