Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
