As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
