I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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