Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize