Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
